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Molasses kills. April 14, 2010

Posted by tyjorg in What I Learned Tonight.
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What I learned tonight is molasses kills. We all know sugar is bad for you and molasses is high in sugar I think. I am not quite sure but the internet says it’s a combination of sugar cane and sugar beets so the word sugar comes up a lot. You may be thinking well of course molasses kills you, it is sugar, well that’s not what I mean. I mean think about it, if molasses kills you then so does candy and pop, and I can write all day about that. I bring up molasses because of an important American history topic. It took place in the year 1919 in Boston, Massachusetts. This is not the Boston tea party, but good guess. This is called “the Boston molasses disaster”. I will start by saying my dream use to be swimming in a swimming pool of chocolate, but never again will I think and if I do think that I will kick my self, because it’s a bad idea. Back to the disaster and this is a disaster because 21 people were killed because a tank full of molasses blew up. How did this kill people you might ask, simple they drown in molasses. 2,300,000 gallons of molasses to be correct and flying down the streets of Boston going 35 miles per hour. Correct me if I am wrong but probably the only thing worse than running from a tidal wave of molasses going 35 miles per hour is running from T-Rex running 35 miles per hour. If the wave is made of water you have a chance to swim, if it is a bear you have a chance to play dead, if it’s T-Rex you’re a goner. Now if it’s a wave of molasses, you are a goner as well, think about it that stuff is thick and sticky. If you have not seen how thick it is, picture mud mixed with duct tape, it’s think and sticky. Next time you see some mud wrap you’re self in duct tape and roll around in the mud, see how hard it is to move and stuff, then picture your self running from a T-Rex, let me know which you think is worse.

This tragic event could have been avoided with proper care and managing of the molasses plant. I will not point figures but someone dropped the ball. Just like in Jurassic park, someone dropped the ball there too. In this life there are 2 evils, big predatory dinosaurs and big tsunamis of molasses. I hope you never experience either of these, because they are not good. Stay safe out there, it is dangerous.


Banana is a fruit of a herb. April 9, 2010

Posted by tyjorg in What I Learned Tonight.
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What I learned tonight is a banana is a fruit of an herb. Let me start by saying, this is not a common fact, but it might be now to some of you. Because if you read something and understand that something it can become a common fact. First I will show you two pictures

Picture A is a common herb, basil.

Picture B is an un common herb, banana tree.

Now picture B is not really a banana tree, but a banana herb. Bananas are really good for you so it would make sense that it is a herb. Well that might not make sense but it does make sense that it is a herb because well they look the same. They both are green. Ever heard of herb grass, yeah it is green. The issue I have with many people is they are to critical about bananas, I love bananas and think they are underappreciated. They grow from a tall herb, most herbs are short, but not the banana herb. The facts are that it is harder to grow from a tall herb than a small herb*. Herbivores are plant eating animals. So if a monkey is eating a banana than it is a herb eating herbivore. Say that 5 times really fast. Fun, huh? Now stick your tongue out and say that 5 times really fast, more fun, huh?  You may eat a banana a day to keep the doctor away but that won’t work, that only works for apples. The real story is humans average 28 pounds of bananas eaten a year. I suggest we get that average up! By 2011 I want to see the human peoples eat 29 pound per year! Together we can do this for the tall herbs. The herbs forgotten, the herbs lost, and for the herbs called trees, the banana trees. Find a banana herb and eat away my friends, I am counting on you.

*made up fact.

Putting soap in a microwave is a life lesson. April 8, 2010

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What I learned tonight is putting soap in a microwave is a life lesson. These 3 people are really excited about this experiment and so am I. I am excited to teach you about safety and staying alive. If you want to see how excited they are watch this.

See what I mean? The lady is so excited she seems to see a little kids face in the melted soap. Is it melted? Or is it just puffing? Can something puff? A cloud is puffy but can it puff? The point is if you put a bar of soap in the microwave really cool things happen. I think it is a good lesson however, be carful around microwaves, if you find your self stuck in a microwave while its turned on, your puffed. I don’t mean to scare you, but life is full of dangers. One of these dangers is falling into a turned on microwave. It is easy to say that it won’t happen to you, but it might. What do you think the captain of the titanic said when some said “are we going to fall into a microwave?” he said “no it wont happen to us”. Now it did not happen to them but they did hit a ice burg. Moral of that story, if you worry about the microwave to much, you’re sunk. Just as ducks fly south in the winter and mosquitoes are worthless, microwaves are dangerous, be carful friends.

Global Warming solves border conflicts. April 2, 2010

Posted by tyjorg in What I Learned Tonight.
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What I learned tonight is global warming solves border conflicts. Global warming is debated, but the fact is that it is good. Now I am not just saying this because warm weather is great, I am saying this because it solves boarder disputes. Peace keeping is tough and global warming makes it look easy. Many times in this world people fight over stuff like land. India and Bangladesh are not really fighting, well they are but just fighting with words. What the are fighting about is New Moore Island or should I say New Moore not an Island. Why do I say this? Because it sank, well no rising seas have covered it up. Its like putting a penny in a bath tub and turning it on, soon the water covers the penny up. Check out the map to see where this island use to be.

For a long time India and Bangladesh have argued over whose Island this was. Now I guess it don’t matter, thanks to global warming. Before we start critiquing global warming, and el nino and el nina and all that, lets try to think of the positives. Here is to global warming and all its effects, sorry Moore Island I am sure you were a beautiful place!

Elephants weigh less than the tongue of a blue whale. April 1, 2010

Posted by tyjorg in What I Learned Tonight.
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What I learned tonight is elephants weigh less than the tongue of a blue whale. The best part of learning this is picturing the blue whale swimming around with a elephant in its mouth. Had me laughing, how about you? The tongue weighs about 6 tons, wow. For those of you that don’t know a ton is 2,000 pounds, so a tongue of the blue whale is 12,000 pounds. I am not really sure how this can be true, but it is. The human tongue weights like 70 grams, that is like .154323584 pounds. In other words it don’t weigh as much as the blue whale tongue. For some reason I was not a math major but I think that means the blue whale tongue weighs 78,390 times more than a human tongue. What this means is a blue whale tongue weighs 5,487,300 grams. Not to be lost in all of this is the elephant. The elephant is grey has big ears and walks real slowly. That’s all your really need to know about the elephant. The fact of the matter is, the blue whale is large. It makes you wonder why they have such a big tongue. The answer is simple, it is because they are big. You know how they say the bigger they are the harder they fall, well in the animal kingdom they say the bigger they are the bigger the tongue. The animal kingdom is funny when you picture an elephant inside a blue whales mouth. Please draw pictures and send them to me, I will laugh. I need a real visual, not a mental one. Please people do not get eaten by a elephant or a blue whale. You may not know it but a blue whale is a carnivore, beware to all swimmer big or small.