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Brides carry flowers so they don’t stink. February 19, 2010

Posted by tyjorg in What I Learned Tonight.
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What I learned tonight is brides carry flowers so they don’t stink. Traditions are weird but we all have them, one such tradition is the bride carrying flowers. Now back in England or something, it was a long time ago in the 1500’s people stunk. Something about never bathing but once a year must have something to do with that. So anyway I am reading this article about weddings, I have been to a couple weddings in my life, I am happy to say I have never fallen asleep or fell out of my chair. Both of those problems occur often I think, but not for me I power though. So in the 1500’s bath month was May, wow who has a bath month? I guess people in the 1500’s did, I was born in April and I find this insulting to my birth month, I bet it was known as the “stink month.” So after bath month is June, wedding Month, who has a wedding month? I guess people in the 1500’s did. So lets say you take a bath on May 5th, wow what a day but by June 13th the big day, the most important day of your life, well sorry bride you stink. They were smart though, they might smell like a rotten gold fish in old milk but they were still smart. They would go out and get flowers put them in a big bunch and have the bride carry them. This is such a smart plan because now you smell like a glass of old milk with a rotten gold fish with a bouquet of flowers in the cup. I can’t get over how great this plan is, wow amazing.

Today the bride in most occasions has flowers. Little did we know it’s so they smell good. The interesting fact is, the bride has these flowers then what does she do with them at the end? She throws them to someone else, I think the person who catches it gets to bathe first come May, or something like that. Why does the bride throw them, well it’s a symbol, it means I need to smell good until I trap this guy then I can stink. Some may call it evil, but no it is just clever. As they say in that awesome movie Jurassic Park “Clever girl.”

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Comments»

1. dez - February 19, 2010

Best one yet! Hahahhahaa!

2. Jeff - February 19, 2010

Except unlike Jurassic Park, the bride isn’t going to maul you and eat you. Well, i guess you never know….

3. lauri - February 19, 2010

funny!

4. Anonymous - March 1, 2010

i read most of this thinking you were talking about birds not brides. haha. eek.


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