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Octopuses have 3 hearts August 8, 2011

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1/3 of octopus blood movement.

What I learned tonight is Octopuses have 3 hearts. This could however make it the most dominating species on the planet. It also could mean that it will take over the world someday. Probably the only thing holding it back is it can’t breath out of water to well.  Lets think of this logically, we have 1 heart, they have 3. So if we have 2 lungs, they have 6! I mean we are talking super vital organs here. We better hope they don’t develop this. Granted they have lots of legs with millions of cups ready to suck onto you at any moment. That is scary, but what is more scary is they are packing around 3 times the vital organs than you. I know you are thinking “yeah but why would this happen? Simple, weird stuff happens, who would of thought a cricket would listen to things from its knee? Not me! The point I am trying to make here is, this is an emergency waiting to happen and we are doing nothing about it. A creature that is super creepy and has tons of suckers and 9 vital organs is like a ticking time bomb to taking over the world. Luckily for us they just have 3 hearts and tons of gills. Gills = powerless to us lung breathing humans, but when lungs start forming in the slimy weird-looking balloon sacked octopus then we are done for. The next time you see an octopus think of 6 lungs waiting in attack. Scared? You should be.

No president of the United States was an only child November 19, 2010

Posted by tyjorg in What I Learned Tonight.

This is interesting for only one reason. This is because it proves once and for all siblings make us smart. It may be because they teach us things or we must teach them things. But it is most likely that it is just because the hit us, bite us, scratch us, steal our food, eat our food, throw our shoes outside, hit our car, break our bikes and much much more. Because of this you can become a good president. Many people in the US have siblings, I do not know the stats and the US census would not return my call. I called back pretending to be a president with no siblings, but they responded with “sir there are no presidents with no siblings.” I responded with ‘Correct!” I hung up then and decided that I would just there many people have siblings in America instead of having a number. For those of you that have never had a sibling, I am sorry. Not because they are fun to have around, but because you will never become a president. If there is one thing I have learned and this is numbers do not lie. The numbers say there has never been a president with out siblings. Sorry only children out there. Parents, if you only have one child, have another. It is time you stepped up and looked out for your children’s future.

This man had siblings now look he is on money.

This man had siblings now he is made of stone and was honest.

All these guys had siblings and now they are strong like a mountain.

This man had siblings and they turned his hair white.


As you can see I am right. Because pictures never lie. Life is full of surprises but this is not one of them. Just like the sun always rises and oceans are always made of water, we may always say you know those presidents they always have siblings.

Sea monsters really lived. September 6, 2010

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What I learned tonight is that. Now before you go off and tell me that this is not true I have a question for you. If you think that sea monsters did not really live then how do you explain this?

Now how do you explain that video? Here are the proofs we have. Lots of video footage, you may think that is computer animated but I doubt it, it looks to real and the music is super epic and it sucks me right in, I am a believer. The second reason is the man with the deep voice, wow how can you not believe that? With quotes likes “Takes us on a journey to a lost time” and “before they lived in our imagination they really lived” how can you not be a believer? The third and final proof I have is this. The man with the deep voice that makes him more believable says “a journey 82 million years in the making.” Now I am no computer wiz but I am pretty sure there was not computers 82 million years ago, so if it took them 82 million years to make this show, then no way it is computer animated, it has to be real.

Now you may not believe a word I said, but please watch and listen to the video again. I don’t need you to believe me I just need you to believe the man with the really deep voice. Let his words sink in, let those pictures be your guide. It may be hard to understand how North America use to be a play ground for odd-looking swimming monsters, but its true, don’t take my word for it. Take the man with the really deep voice’s word for it.

If you fall of the horse, get back on as fast as possible. May 5, 2010

Posted by tyjorg in What I Learned Tonight.

What I learned tonight is if you fall of the horse, get back on as fast as possible. You may have heard of the saying “if you fall of the horse dust your self your self off and get back on.” Well what they don’t tell you is you don’t really have time to dust your self off. Think about falling of a horse and then getting attacked. Because if you think about it, why did you fall off in the first place? Well you may just not be good at riding the horse or the horse is scared and running. Well you know what the say, riding a scared horse is not easy. The funny thing about big predatory attacking creatures really scares a horse. This is funny because there is something funny about seeing something get chanced. Think about a person chasing a dollar bill floating down the street. Funny, huh? You may be confused by now, but watch this.

What we have here is a predatory animal chasing a horse. The horse gets scared and runs, the human cant stay on the horse because its not easy to ride a scared horse. Then the human falls, is thinking to him self “I need to dust off and get back on.” The problem is the predatory animal has now set its sights on the human. The human cries because he can’t dust off, the human knows this step must got first. Some words are being yelled in some language I can’t understand, but I am sure it was saying “dust your self and get back on!” The human is attacked and hurt. The big human beats the predatory animal in a sign of protecting and anger. This could have been avoided however by saying in the language I cant understand “forget the dusting, get back on quick!!”

This is a good lesson about priorities and those old sayings are not always the best. What we must remember is it’s not about what we do, its how fast we do it. Watch out for those monster predatory birds and if I am the one falling off that horse remind me to get back on fast and please use a language I understand.

Molasses kills. April 14, 2010

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What I learned tonight is molasses kills. We all know sugar is bad for you and molasses is high in sugar I think. I am not quite sure but the internet says it’s a combination of sugar cane and sugar beets so the word sugar comes up a lot. You may be thinking well of course molasses kills you, it is sugar, well that’s not what I mean. I mean think about it, if molasses kills you then so does candy and pop, and I can write all day about that. I bring up molasses because of an important American history topic. It took place in the year 1919 in Boston, Massachusetts. This is not the Boston tea party, but good guess. This is called “the Boston molasses disaster”. I will start by saying my dream use to be swimming in a swimming pool of chocolate, but never again will I think and if I do think that I will kick my self, because it’s a bad idea. Back to the disaster and this is a disaster because 21 people were killed because a tank full of molasses blew up. How did this kill people you might ask, simple they drown in molasses. 2,300,000 gallons of molasses to be correct and flying down the streets of Boston going 35 miles per hour. Correct me if I am wrong but probably the only thing worse than running from a tidal wave of molasses going 35 miles per hour is running from T-Rex running 35 miles per hour. If the wave is made of water you have a chance to swim, if it is a bear you have a chance to play dead, if it’s T-Rex you’re a goner. Now if it’s a wave of molasses, you are a goner as well, think about it that stuff is thick and sticky. If you have not seen how thick it is, picture mud mixed with duct tape, it’s think and sticky. Next time you see some mud wrap you’re self in duct tape and roll around in the mud, see how hard it is to move and stuff, then picture your self running from a T-Rex, let me know which you think is worse.

This tragic event could have been avoided with proper care and managing of the molasses plant. I will not point figures but someone dropped the ball. Just like in Jurassic park, someone dropped the ball there too. In this life there are 2 evils, big predatory dinosaurs and big tsunamis of molasses. I hope you never experience either of these, because they are not good. Stay safe out there, it is dangerous.

Banana is a fruit of a herb. April 9, 2010

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What I learned tonight is a banana is a fruit of an herb. Let me start by saying, this is not a common fact, but it might be now to some of you. Because if you read something and understand that something it can become a common fact. First I will show you two pictures

Picture A is a common herb, basil.

Picture B is an un common herb, banana tree.

Now picture B is not really a banana tree, but a banana herb. Bananas are really good for you so it would make sense that it is a herb. Well that might not make sense but it does make sense that it is a herb because well they look the same. They both are green. Ever heard of herb grass, yeah it is green. The issue I have with many people is they are to critical about bananas, I love bananas and think they are underappreciated. They grow from a tall herb, most herbs are short, but not the banana herb. The facts are that it is harder to grow from a tall herb than a small herb*. Herbivores are plant eating animals. So if a monkey is eating a banana than it is a herb eating herbivore. Say that 5 times really fast. Fun, huh? Now stick your tongue out and say that 5 times really fast, more fun, huh?  You may eat a banana a day to keep the doctor away but that won’t work, that only works for apples. The real story is humans average 28 pounds of bananas eaten a year. I suggest we get that average up! By 2011 I want to see the human peoples eat 29 pound per year! Together we can do this for the tall herbs. The herbs forgotten, the herbs lost, and for the herbs called trees, the banana trees. Find a banana herb and eat away my friends, I am counting on you.

*made up fact.

Putting soap in a microwave is a life lesson. April 8, 2010

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What I learned tonight is putting soap in a microwave is a life lesson. These 3 people are really excited about this experiment and so am I. I am excited to teach you about safety and staying alive. If you want to see how excited they are watch this.

See what I mean? The lady is so excited she seems to see a little kids face in the melted soap. Is it melted? Or is it just puffing? Can something puff? A cloud is puffy but can it puff? The point is if you put a bar of soap in the microwave really cool things happen. I think it is a good lesson however, be carful around microwaves, if you find your self stuck in a microwave while its turned on, your puffed. I don’t mean to scare you, but life is full of dangers. One of these dangers is falling into a turned on microwave. It is easy to say that it won’t happen to you, but it might. What do you think the captain of the titanic said when some said “are we going to fall into a microwave?” he said “no it wont happen to us”. Now it did not happen to them but they did hit a ice burg. Moral of that story, if you worry about the microwave to much, you’re sunk. Just as ducks fly south in the winter and mosquitoes are worthless, microwaves are dangerous, be carful friends.

Global Warming solves border conflicts. April 2, 2010

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What I learned tonight is global warming solves border conflicts. Global warming is debated, but the fact is that it is good. Now I am not just saying this because warm weather is great, I am saying this because it solves boarder disputes. Peace keeping is tough and global warming makes it look easy. Many times in this world people fight over stuff like land. India and Bangladesh are not really fighting, well they are but just fighting with words. What the are fighting about is New Moore Island or should I say New Moore not an Island. Why do I say this? Because it sank, well no rising seas have covered it up. Its like putting a penny in a bath tub and turning it on, soon the water covers the penny up. Check out the map to see where this island use to be.

For a long time India and Bangladesh have argued over whose Island this was. Now I guess it don’t matter, thanks to global warming. Before we start critiquing global warming, and el nino and el nina and all that, lets try to think of the positives. Here is to global warming and all its effects, sorry Moore Island I am sure you were a beautiful place!

Elephants weigh less than the tongue of a blue whale. April 1, 2010

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What I learned tonight is elephants weigh less than the tongue of a blue whale. The best part of learning this is picturing the blue whale swimming around with a elephant in its mouth. Had me laughing, how about you? The tongue weighs about 6 tons, wow. For those of you that don’t know a ton is 2,000 pounds, so a tongue of the blue whale is 12,000 pounds. I am not really sure how this can be true, but it is. The human tongue weights like 70 grams, that is like .154323584 pounds. In other words it don’t weigh as much as the blue whale tongue. For some reason I was not a math major but I think that means the blue whale tongue weighs 78,390 times more than a human tongue. What this means is a blue whale tongue weighs 5,487,300 grams. Not to be lost in all of this is the elephant. The elephant is grey has big ears and walks real slowly. That’s all your really need to know about the elephant. The fact of the matter is, the blue whale is large. It makes you wonder why they have such a big tongue. The answer is simple, it is because they are big. You know how they say the bigger they are the harder they fall, well in the animal kingdom they say the bigger they are the bigger the tongue. The animal kingdom is funny when you picture an elephant inside a blue whales mouth. Please draw pictures and send them to me, I will laugh. I need a real visual, not a mental one. Please people do not get eaten by a elephant or a blue whale. You may not know it but a blue whale is a carnivore, beware to all swimmer big or small.

Crickets hear with there knees. March 30, 2010

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What I learned tonight is crickets hear with there knees. Now if I clap my hands I can hear it with my ears. Now my ears are on my face, so if I hit my face I can hear it as well. Hearing is a funny thing because without it we would all deaf. I always kind of thought crickets were deaf. I mean think about it, if you were loud and obnoxious would you want to be deaf as well? But I guess it is not up to them. I am not to sure but I thought crickets made sound with there legs and they here with there legs, so cricket legs are like human heads. Or a more accurate description is human heads are like cricket legs. As a human a find this super disrespectful and dislike this description. I am just being honest however in my description of human heads. You will probably not look at humans the same, but that’s what comes with learning. The more we learn the more we look at things differently. To review we have hearing on a cricket on its legs and hearing on a human on its head. To they are the same. There is no different, but a human head on a cricket and it would be just fine, put a cricket leg on top on a human body and it would be just fine. This is what science tells us, and I don’t argue with facts and science. Next time you make fun of a cricket remember you are making fun of your own head, good luck ladies and gentleman.